I cannot believe We’ve made it February. January felt like a never-ending month to me. I’ve taken to 2018 with gusto and get confused when I realise we’re only been doing it for 6 weeks. It feels much longer to me. Am I the only one?
The end of 2017 and this January have been a period of many decisions, changes and developments in my life. So, I wanted to share them here.
Putting my health first
I’ve you’ve followed the blog for the last year you’ll know I’ve been having some health complications. This year getting back to full health is going to be my priority. For me, this means prioritising my fitness. Getting my fitness up was a big contributor to getting better when I was ill the first time around. I’m hoping this will be the case this time as well.
Over the last 2 years I stopped scheduled exercise sessions for 2 reasons. The first was I was finding walking so painful and thought if I was finding that difficult what chance is there of me doing more high-intensity work. Secondly, I’d have an energy crash after I did any exercise which rendered me useless for the rest of the day. But both the reasons aren’t good enough to no do any exercise other than the dog walks when I feel this rubbish.
At the beginning of January, I joined a local gym, and have been attending classes weekly since joining. Over time I’m hoping to build up to planned workout sessions with weights. For now, I’m using classes to ensure attendance and for ease really. Since starting classes I’ve discovered I can do high-intensity stuff fine, what I need is to do low impact things. It still wipes my energy out, but I’m hopeful that if I practice consistently, that will get better.
More rest and pacing
I’ve recently realised how awful I’ve got at resting. I fully attribute it to starting Ideal Balance Coaching. When you run a business there’s always a task to do and no one to tell you how to prioritise. I also got sucked into a comparison trap with Dave. He has an incredible balance bandwidth, therefore, can do a lot. He’s also incredibly self-disciplined, a key skill if you’re going to be self-employed!
Seeing how much he can achieve in a week made me feel pressure to do more. And I’d feel guilty because I didn’t feel I was pulling my weight financially. This would lead to me doing more tasks around the house to “compensate”. But rather than replacing work activities with house ones, I added them on top. And this was all self-imposed, Dave never indicated that he wanted or expected it.
I’ve realised I need to embrace where my bandwidth is right now, not compare it to Dave’s. This means being ok with resting and pacing my activities. But it currently makes me feel quite uncomfortable. We definitely live in a time that values productivity, so consciously choosing to do nothing is an interesting experience.
I’m sure some of you reading this think I’m mad, and could happily spend more time resting without guilt. If that’s the case, great, it’s certainly not a skill to lose. I truly believe resting is a skill, one that needs to be fostered and practised, otherwise you’ll forget how to do it. And to those people who are reading this and can relate to my inability to rest, I implore you to think about how you can start practising it again.
Flow and alignment
This year I’m going to be focusing very much on what works for me, on doing things my way. If something isn’t flowing or doesn’t feel right I’m not going to push through on it. This doesn’t mean stopping completely, as sometimes you have to do things you don’t want to. It means pausing, checking the reasons why I’m doing it and if I can do it differently. I’m giving myself permission to live in a way that suits me. I’m fortunate enough to be in a position where I have this level of autonomy over my life. It’s time to embrace it rather than using it as something to create a comparison-guilt cycle.
A change of direction
This is the biggest change, the one that I guess all the above was leading up to. With the desire to focus on my health, rest more and feel aligned, I’ve realised that Ideal Balance Coaching no longer serves me. It’s the wrong vehicle for what I currently want to do; for how I want to show up in my life. I believe coaching is a great tool and would encourage everyone to try it at some point. It really helps with so many areas of life. I currently don’t want to be offering coaching services though.
This will be my last blog post on this website. This certainly isn’t the end of my blogging though. At the beginning of January I had an idea that instantly felt right to me. I’m now in the process of setting up this new venture. I’m setting it up in a way that feels aligned and pacing myself so I can get it out without compromising my health. I don’t want to say too much now but I am super excited about it. It feels like a natural progression from some of the stuff I’ve been talking about here recently. When it’s ready I will be launching with a bang but until then, if you want to keep up with what I’m up to you can find out more through my Instagram account.
So there are the big changes. I hope you’ve enjoyed that little ‘behind the scenes’ view. I’m an odd combination of excited and uncomfortable about it all! Uncomfortable is a good sign though. As the clichéd saying goes ‘growth happens outside of your comfort zone’.
What are you hoping to have more of in 2018?
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